My.... Second to last semester in college.

So I spent the last 4 months of my life going to college for what would have been the last time.

But. I passed four out of my five classes. Getting one A, One B, One C, One D and one F. A full house as it were. This leaves me missing 3 credit hours of upper division classes, And the need for one Righting Intensive Class. This means that next semester I will need to Take At least Two Classes, I am Giving thought to taking Four Classes Instead and making it a full semester.

But as I sat waiting to take my Last Test of the Semester (Two Hours Early) A Friend I had only met that Semester Passed me, And Told me she was going to eat. And I decided... After some enthusiastic convincing that Wile I didn't have enough free money to spare to go eat. That I in truth didn't have enough money to pay the rest of me bill even if i did go eat. So why the Hell not?

And In the discussion we had over the food I had Epiphany of sorts. Or Rather My Friend Had the Epiphany for me and it hit me full force in the face.

You see I have Been Going to College Sense 2001. With Numerous Breaks and Pauses. Managing a 2.45 GPA by getting A's in some classes, C's in most and Failing one entire Semester.

The Epiphany came to my friend when we were talking about what we are going to do over summer. My answer was. "Look for a job and try and figure out what I'm going to do next semester" Her answer was. "Get Drunk on my 21st birthday sense I wont have classes at the time." My answer was that, That sounded like fun, But That I didn't do anything special for my 21st birthday. She frowned and asked me why not?

My answer was to impart to her that I had in fact never done most of the things that college students were suppose to do. Or that High schoolers had done for that matter. I had never went down town on a Thursday and gotten drunk. I had never flirted at a bar with another college student that was doing the same thing.

In fact I had never done even one thing that we both considered a "College Thing"

And she posed a question to me that, as i stated before hit me in the face like a ton of bricks.

The simple question was. "Why the Hell not, It really doesn't sound like doing that stuff would have effected your GPA." And she's Right. Non of those thing would have effected the amount of effort I put into college.

In fact if the last semester is any indication it might have helped a good deal.

Last Semester. The 28th year of my life, Was the first time I attended a college club meeting. Gotten to loud and annoying wile in them. Stayed up all night watching stupid movie with other students. Played stupid college games.

Shit. Last Semester was the first Time I had ever gone on a date with a girl without planning ahead at least 4 days. We just.... Went to see a movie. That was it, no more plans the that.

And I look back on my life, And I really have to wonder... Why?

So now the summer looms.

I'm Back at home. Looking for a job. And wondering what to do next semester.

And Logically the Best Economic Plan I can come up with is to take 6 hours of college using the last Semester that the governmental will pay for to finish up, driving from home to the local branch school hear in Clay County Kentucky and other surrounding areas.

But......

I don't think that's what I am going to do.

I think.. What I'm going to do. Is take 12 hours. 6 Hours that I don't need. In Classes I want to take, and are Pie Classes. And go on campus. In a dorm. For no good reason.

Last semester was the first time I had fun on campus. The first time I enjoyed college on any level other then a Mental Level. The First time I looked forward to going to campus.

And I think if i don't do it next semester I will be missing something. Something ever person needs. Missing being young and stupid. Foolish and to loud.

I mean what the hell people.

Were the hell did my Child hood go?
I was 9 or 10 playing army in the woods of Eastern Kentucky then..... Something happened and Bam, I am a 12 or 13 year old that's no nonsense. I never do anything stupid. I don't do anything that I'm not suppose to.

Were the Hell did part of my life go were you do stuff that might not be the best for you but you just want to do it anyways. Were you do stuff.... Just because you want to.

What the hell did I get in return for this lost part of my life? I wish some one would tell me, Because I sure as hell cant.

I don't even remember anything about my life between 10 and 13. It literally is not there.

What the hell happened to me....

This is not were I thought this blog entry was going.

Both my parents, My brother in Law, My sister.

Pretty much every one I know can look back on there life and tell story's that might not be the crowning achievements of there lives, but that they remember fondly.

Shit I worked at Disney World for 8 months. And for the most part I sat at home in my apartment rest and reading when I wasn't at work. WHY?

I was 23 In Orlando Florida, 600 miles from my parents?

Wasn't I suppose to do stupid shit?

Wasn't I suppose to do things that I enjoyed even if they are not the very best thing for me?

And what the hell do I have to show for it...