Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Some Interesting Facts about Muslims.

OK. So I addressed religion in my last post.
And It stated a interesting discussion.
It was on Muslims. Or rather the way most people think about them.
_
So I Decided to make a nice little list of interesting facts about Muslim country's.
_
Geography.
#1. There are 47 Nations in the world that have a population that is at least 50% Muslim.
#2. There are give or take about a Billion and a half Muslims in the world.
#3. Most Muslim Nations are in fact no in the Middle east. With a little over a dozen being in the middle east. (Depending on your idle of middle east) About a dozen in Asia Major. And the rest. (Most of them) Being in Africa.
_
People.
I already addressed that there are about a billion and a half Muslims.
#1: out of that 1.5 billion about 20% are Arab. Thats about the same % of Africans that are Christian. So when people use the word interchangeably there a little off base.
#2: Out of 140 million arabs. About 14-15 million are Christian's. That more Arab Christians then Jews.... Like all the Jews.. Put Together... In the world.
_

So stuff people mess up ALLOT.

#1. Women.
A: Burqas and Niqabs. (Those are the viels some Muslim Women were)
The fact of the matter is that there are only two Nations in the world that require women to were these. Many more Muslim Nations Actually ban them. They are in fact not even part of Muslim Culture. Rather part of the Culture of a few nations around the world.
B: France a nation that has made a big deal about Burqas Did a study were they found that there were about three million muslim women in France and out of those less then 500 were a burqas.
C: Of the five largest Muslim Nations. (By population) In the world Four have had Female Leaders. And in all five Muslim Nations have had six females leaders. (Bangladesh twice)

Indonesia. Megawati Sukarnoputri
Pakistan. Benazir Bhutto
Bangladesh. Khaleda Zia and Sheikh Hasina.
Turkey. Tansu Çiller
Kyrgyzstan. Roza Otunbayeva

So really it seams that the big offender in womens rights have been.

Iran.
Saudi Arabia.
And Afghanistan under Taliban Rule.
_
And there are some christians groups that dictate what there women were as well.
_______________________
Tomas Jefferson taught himself how to read Arabic by reading the Quran.
And held Ifrar on Ramadan in the WHITE HOUSE. Now I am by no means saying he was a Muslim, My point was that allot of the founding fathers had a good deal of admiration for the Muslim world.
_
And why wouldn't they?
For a good deal of history the Muslim world has been advanced. Welthy and Humane.
Muslims and Persians were pretty famously good hosts for a good portion of history. And In the Crusades treated captured prisoners and civilians MUCH better the Christian Army,s.
And Muslims advanced many disciplines wile the Christians were in the dark ages.

In fact the renaissance was largely started because A: Priests had kept good in monistanys for a long time. B: Crusading knights brought back knowledge from the Muslim world. Much of it having been forgotten by European.
_
The... trouble we see in the Muslim world right now only started after Europians "Colonized" The middle easy and then left. And can kind of be seen as a violent backlash to western influence starting in the 1930-50's.

Lets just agree to agree on at least some things?

OK so I continue to blog... Despite the fact that almost no one reads what I am writing.
But I am cool with that. This blog if for three things.

#1. Practice Writing. I am.. as you might have noticed a horrible speller. But I would like to think I am actually pretty good at Articulating my thoughts both in words both written and spoken.

#2. Because I like doing it. I really enjoy putting my thoughts into text.

#3. And this is the most important one. I REALLY think that not enough people are good at debate. And wile there is... As of yet no one returning my thoughts, I think it helps to practice putting your idles into words.

_
And on that thought I would like to point out a problem with the world.
People can not disagree with out being disagreeable.

A good example of this is..... Religion. No no. I don't mean agreeing on what religion is right. I mean people can't even disagree with out getting ripe with one another.

So I... Made a list of things I think that people should be able to agree with just to be able to talk.
In short if you can't agree on these things... There is no hope for you and you can not talk to people.... ever again. You need to go live in a cave some were.

#1. Any one can do bad things in the name of ANYTHING.
That is to say that Evil Things can be done in the name of. God. (Any of them)
Nations, Love, Science. Anything. People can and will use anything as justification for there evil deeds. And allot of times people will point to them as a example of why the other side is wrong.

Take.... Hitler... Ya Hitler I have seen both sides. (And by that I mean atheists and theists) Say that it was all the other sides faults.
Blindly Ignoring that Hitler acknowledge god. (The word was even part of the oath you had to take to Hitler) And that he used the idle for is own ends. And thats just it. People are do horrible things are going to do them regardless. And they will use what ever they want to justify there deeds.

Think of it this way.
A: "Kill them all, god will knock his own." Pope Innocent III.
And by the way. He was talking about killing French Cathars. And if you don't know Cathars Are Christians... That's right. First Crusade ever launched. Was launched by the pope against god fearing Christians.

B: Stalin was in fact a Atheist.

The thing is both of them were in fact horrible people apart from being ether pope or a atheist.
_
#2. The VAST Majority of people in fact. hold there beliefs completely separate to what you think.
Don't know what I mean?
OK follow me on this.
If you hear some one say. "Only the saved go to heaven" Do you think they.
A: Are trying to save your immortal soul. Or. B: Want you to go to hell.

And if you hear some one say "I'm sorry but from what I have seen there is no reason for be to believe in a higher power" Do you Automatically think. "This is just a childish rebellion against god"

Well the thing is. If you agree with that or agree with B.
You need help.

These people believe in what they are saying they are not just being jerks to mess with you.
And the other thing is the other side finds your idles Legitimately offensive. There not just saying that to be rude.
_
And the thing is that there are good and bad people on both sides. The other side is not out to get you. (for the most part)
I also see allot of people who focus on negative examples of the other side. And point at it to say how stupid the other side is... Now to be fair Atheists do this WAY more. As to Liberals.

But also to be fair The religious crowd and Conservatives do seam to provide more examples. Not that ether group is has more crazy people. It just seams like there crazy people are WAY LOUDER!

Case and point.
Theists and Conservatives.
A: Theists. The westboro baptist church and there leader Phelps. Thats the "God Hates Fags" Group.
B: Jerry Falwell. States that 9-11 was punish for women working and gay people being in America.
C: Glen Beck. Claimed that 10% of all Muslims are terrorists.
Im just going to throw in Rush Limbaugh and Ann Colter.

That all stupid people that can be used as examples on why Religious / Conservative people are nuts.

And on the other side we have.... .Nothing. I can't think of anything.
I actually think that this is why these groups clame there is a media bias going on. Because they need some way to counter the (Often Unfair) Media attention these fringe groups give them.
_

The point I'm trying to make here is this.

Some one is not a bad person because they don't agree with you.
And you will never Annoy / Berate them out of exsistance.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Is not hitting women sexist?

OK so this question came up in a conversation I was having with some Army Buddies of mine.
To be most specific a female 1St Lt. Friend of mine from Basic Training now Serving in a U.N. Peace Keeping force in Kosovo.
_
So the question is.
Is not hitting a women in a Situation were you would hit a man Sexist?

Now all of people have a knee Jerk reaction that "No it's just good up bringing" Ya well people said pretty much the same thing about African American's being inferior to Whites Not long ago ether.
Just because it's how you were brought up does not make it right or fair.

I really see people taking three sides on this question. (So of coarse I am going to make a list)
_
Side #1: Hitting a Women is wrong.

OK so this entire idle comes from the idle of Knightly Virtues, Honor and Courtly Love. I.E. Chivalry. Now the problem with using this. "Good Upbringing" or "Chivalry" Argument. Is that Chivarly's idles on how to treat a women is based on the idle that women are inferior. At least on the physical level. And to a great extent on a Mental level.

The idle that you don't hit a women was in fact based on a few concepts that are with out argument sexist. And with some argument just down right stupid.
A: Women are physically inferior to men so attacking them would be like attacking a child.
Now I don't need to point out the problem with this. A average women weights in at about the same as a short or lightly built man. And larger women can weight in as much or more as a average man. So using the Argument that. "The Average man is much stronger then the Average women" Is a big lop sided.
Because by that argument you should never hit a SMALL PERSON. Regardless of sex.

B: Women Are incapable of posing a real threat to men.
OK so back in the day this had some validity i suppose, most women had no martial training and I is most likely hard to attack somebody when you have trouble breathing because of your corset. And these are rules that came about for Knights.... The Midevil Eqivilent to Special Forces in the Military. So You could say this is allot like the Military stance on using force against Civilian Populations.

But today this is just a stupid idle. Women can be Trained in Martial arts, Women can be in the Military. And ANY ONE can hurt you with they hit you with the right thing. So Saying women can't hurt a man is just a dangerous idle.
______
OK so the next side of the argument is from the other end of the field.
"Not hitting a women is unfair."

I have to say as terrible as this sounds. It's true.

Hear is a point.

If a man came up to you and your wife and started calling your wife terrible names. Then I can Conformationally say that no one would think less of you for nailing the guy in the face.
But if a women did it, Then most people would be horrified if you hit her.
WHY? Why can a women get away with it when a guy cant? Its not fair.

It's no fairer then saying a women can't be president. Both are built on the idle that women can't handle the same kind of thing a man does.

It would be like saying a women can't be put to death for killing three people when a man can, because killing a women is wrong. (By the way, Men are like.... 9 times more likely to get the death penalty)

No all that being said, there are so many Double Standards against women, that i almost can't besmirch them this.... And is, I might not be able to if it were not for Bitchy women who think they can do what ever they want and get away with it.

I am going to use my Best friend as a example. We will call him.... Derp.

I don't know what it is about poor Derp but it just seams that allot of females I know think they can threaten him with physical harm, or hit him in a semi-playing manor and get away with it.
I have also noticed that allot of females have a VASTLY inflated opinion of how tough they are.

Now the point to this train of thought is this.

#1. If a guy threatened another guy with physical harm. There is a good chance that the threatened guy is going to preempt the aforementioned attack with one of this own.
But not if a female does it.

#2. If one guy haled off and hits another on the shoulder you had better be sure he is REALLY a good friend. Or you might as well just go ahead and Aim a little higher for a good fight starting sucker punch.
But I have noticed the women get away with this all the time.

#3. You will see allot of Women hall off and hit a guy when she is mad and the guy DOES NOTHING. If the position was turned some one would call the cops. (Which i have done in the female on male violence situation)

#4. Allot and I allot of women think they are much tougher then they are. (This goes for some guys as well) Because... They have simply never been in a real fight before.

Why because when they pick fights with guys, the guys don't try to hurt them.

Using Derp as the example. I have at this point taken about..... 2 years of various martial arts. But I am no means a master or even that tough, but I am very sure that I can Defense myself. Because I have what most Combatants Lack. (Which I Contribute to The Military more then Martial Arts)

I have the Will to hurt some one. If I get into a fight I am Aiming for a Broken Bone. A Knocked out or maybe even dead opponent, I am aiming for a Opponent who is no longer capable of fighting back.

Derp on the other hand has none of this. What he has is weighting 230lbs despite not being overweight and only 5'11" Simply Put he is made of something tougher then normal people.

And if the two of use were to fight. I would give each of us 50/50 odds. And I can Assure you that one of use would be Dead/Crippled.

But ALLOT of women think they can hurt this guy. Why? Because he is TO NICE. And they have never been in a fight with some one is much larger / stronger then them.

_

So here is the point.
#1:If guys would simply hit a women in the same instant that they would a man.
#2:If a guy would simply say..... I don't know. "Outch! Don't fucking hit me you symphonic Bitch!"
#3: Call the Damn Police and Say. "There is a women hitting a man, please come stop them."

In short if Guy would simple do what they are suppose to and Treat Women like they would men. This would not a issue.

So really... It's men's fault.
_
So I go with what I was Trained growing up.

"NEVER HIT A LADY!"
_
And to take It a step farther.
"Be a gentleman... What is a gentleman.... A Gentle Man."

Simple put.
You should for the most part avoid hitting anyone.
And if a man is acting as a gentlemen then he is not going to give you a reason to hit him.
If a women is being a Lady she's not going to give you a reason to have to hit her.

But if a women is doing something that would make you hit a man.... She's not being a lady. And in my book is fair game.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Holidays 101: Thanksgiving.

OK so the next Holiday on the chopping block is Thanksgiving.

OK so my run down of this holiday is pretty cut and dry, and it might sound like I don't have as big a problem with this one as with others... But I do I dislike it more then Halloween Anyways, It's just that my Problem is with One or Two Really big Issues.

So let me brake it down for you.

History.
One issue I have with this Holiday is that No one has a good grasp on it's history. And by that I mean NO ONE. Historians can't really agree on this for the most part. We do know a few things.

#1. It was originally a harvest festival. (And thus was NEVER in November!)
#2. It was... Kind of Religious when it started, but was still a very Secular Holiday by the standards of its Day.
#3. The First One we would Recognize as a thanksgiving was in 1621. At Plymouth MS. And is the Pilgrim / Native American thing most people think about.

So other then that, every thin else is kind of fuzzy. Like we know there were Natives There but, there is some disagreement as to Which ones? But it can be Narrowed to the Patuxet Tribe. Or the Wampanoag Trip. (Maybe Both, Or Maybe both on two separate occasions)

We also know that there were celebrations before this date in other places that were called Thanksgiving Celebrations but didn't really stick around.

The Date Jumped Around allot until 1941 When my Favorite President FDR Finally set the Date. He picked the date to give the Economy a little bump at that time of year. (Or it was a Economic Decision, And i can forgive him for that)

It was Celebrated widely in the United States sense the mid-1800's. So it had been around about a hundred years by that time.

_
Food.
OK so you hear this allot from would be know it alls. "Turkey was't even served at the first thanksgiving! Because the Natives would not have hunted such a docile bird, they would have thought it was Dishonorable."

Right. So I don't never know were to start with this. So I will do what I always do... Make a list. (I swear I should have called my self the magic list man)

Stupid loop holes in the above statement.
#1. The Natives Hunted Turkey... And Pretty much everything else in the area.
#2. Wile Honer might have played a part in Native Culture.. These are not Klingon's People.
#3. Wild Turkeys Are not THAT docile. And Despite Populate belief will not drowned by looking up into the rain with there mouths open. That is a Domesticated Turkey. And pretty much All domesticated Animals are Mentally Impaired compared to wild members of there species. Think about Buffalo in Comparison to Domestic Cattle.
#4. The statement ignored the fact that the English Settlers Also Provided part of the food. Most of it in fact, because they had invited the Natives as a thank you for giving them food when they were starving.
#5. This completely ignores the fact that letters of the day Clearly State there was a "Multitude of wild turkey and waterfowl served" That's pretty much a qout from a document written a few days after the feast.

There were in fact a bunch of food served that seam a little odd now.
Like. (Some of this is Redundant)
Waterfowl, Turkey, Venison (Deer), Fish, Lobster, Clams, Squash, Fruit, Berries and pumpkin.
(Yes i know that Both Berries and Pumpkin are fruits) Also the Pumpkin was roasted and not in Pie Form at the time. Umm... Pumpkin pie....

Now that being stated the Turkey was not the focal point of the meal until the late 1800's when allot of the others foods had become very hard or expensive to find. Some people contest with both Thanksgiving and Christmas that Goose or Duck was the Original Main Corse. But no.. That is more of a European thing.
_
Stupid Stuff.

OK so then why do i dislike this holiday?
Well really the big reason is this. It's like most of the holiday season just feels so superficial now. Like is required.. And like it's just there to make you spend money. Yes i dig the Get together and spend some time with your family thing. But really why do you need thanksgiving for that?

The other thing is.... It just feels like a Dry Run For Christmas now days. And with the added annoyance of "Black Friday" And the Fact that the will REALLY start playing Christmas songs after Thanksgiving. (But now they have started after Halloween!) It just adds to my dislike for the holiday season.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Hollidays 101: Halloween.

OK so its Thanksgiving. And i was planing on doing a little section of my blog about the holidays.
So of coarse on this fine Thanksgiving we are going to go over.... Halloween.

Why Halloween? Two Reasons.
1: I wanted to do them in chronological order and Halloween comes first.
2: It's pretty much the only holiday i like in the season.
_

So i have already done a collection of reasons that the holidays chafe me. So i will just re-cap the ones that apply to this one.

#1. Kids showing there asses.
#2. Adults not knowing what the crap they are doing.
#3. Religion people.

Now to be fair the 3rd one is kind of split here for me, because about 10% of Religions folks piss me off. 10% of them actually know what they are doing. And the Rest have enough sense to... well just have fun with this holiday.
_
So we will look at each of these groups.
_
1: OK so first is the group that is the loudest.
There is a group of people who think that Halloween is evil.
And that it is incompatible with Christians values. Now really this dose not bother me.
But the thing is they try to explain there complaints in Sudo-Christian Mumbo-Jumbo. And try to cram it down every one Else's thought. Pretty much ignoring the fact that the Pagan holidays that they are saying the holiday is based off of. (Which they kind of are) Are in fact older then Christianity.
Some of them being older then the six thousand year old world view these people's hold.

If you want to see what i mean by CRAZY people in the Christian camp.
Please see the work of. Jack T. Chick
This guys work is so weird that most people think it is some kind of joke or is making fun of other people that are like this.... Well no. This guy is 110% Serious. And he is that far out there... And it's not just him. There are more.
_
2: Most people in the Christian camp simply don't care and look at this as a Secular holiday, that has no positive or negative connotation.
_
3: Surprisingly a good number of roman Catholics celebrate Halloween as well. As a Religious holiday. In two forms. The first being All Saints Day, That is a celebration of the Catholics saints. Now this one has no connection to the holiday of old. For that you get the catholic holiday of All Souls Day.

This runs off the idle that. When a person dies they are not abstained from sins that they have done sense there last confession. So they must spend time in Purgatory until they can be cleansed of these sins. Because no sin can enter Heaven. And all souls day is the day that they leave purgatory and go to heaven.

This is a throw game to the Roman Holiday that Halloween borrows it's date from. The Roman Feast of Pomona. Which is really just a celebration having to do with the late harvest.
_

There are also a number of holidays that go along with Halloween, and the thing we have today seams to have borrowed from all of them.

There is.

Roman Feast of Pomona.
Festival of the dead: Parentalia.
Celtic festival of Samhain.
welsh as Calen Gaeaf.
_
The Modern version started to shape up in the middle ages. around 1560's or so.
All hallows day.
All hallows Even.
This is were they all seam to get the name.
_

Trick or treating is pretty old as well. Having coming out in the middle ages. And seamed to have some connection to the Christian Custom of Chrismas Wassailing. (Something we should still do)
Shakespear actually mentions it in Two men in Verona. Calling it: Hallowmass.

Dressing up seamed to have started in the early 19th century. (That's 1801-1840) For people who don't get the century thing down.

Combining Dressing up and Trick Or Treating started to shape up in the 1930's in the united states. Thus following into the 'Not as old as you might think' area of holidays.

_

One of the reasons i like this holiday is that is has some of the best food.
Pumpkin pie!
Allot of it is very old and odd in comparison to allot of other foods we eat today.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Why do i hate holidays?

So as you might have guessed I am not a big holiday person.
And it's a bit of a stretch to say that i Hate the holidays.
It would be much fairer to say i don't care for the holidays. That is to say i like getting together and seeing family but that being said there are some thing i out and out despite about the holidays.

So like most of the things i don't like in the world i am going to make a list of them.
So hear goes my top 10 reasons i don't care for the holiday season.

10:Kids.
Don't get me wrong, I like kids, I at some point would like to adopt kids. [Not have them, because there are already allot of kids who need love and don't have it] And i really to enjoy some parts of the holiday season that are meant for kids. It's just that kids really seam to show there ass around Christmas. Now to be fair this is not really the fault of the holiday itself but rather the kids and/or there parents.

9:Presents.
Now you will notice this is #9 well because... everyone likes presents! But the thing is, they are really kind of a hassle when your feel like you have to get people presents. I almost never want anything so i am sure i am frustrated to shop for, and i am almost always to broke to buy stuff for any one else. And really i think its coller just to get some one a present for no reason. Not because its a holiday.

8:Commercialism.
OK so again this is not higher on the list because... well i our society like it or not, allot of our economy relies on money sinks in the form of Holiday spending. But that this doesn't mean i have to like it! The idle of gift giving on Christmas is much newer then most people would think.
The idle of spending a bunch of money on candy at hollowness is new. And thanksgiving is just a very new holiday altogether. And most of them are pretty blantently consumer holidays at this point.

7:Why do i need a holiday to see people.
This goes back to the present idle, It's almost nicer to have family get together when its not the holiday. Makes it feel more like your having a get gother and less like your filling's some obligation.

6:Religion.
OK first off i am not just some Religion Troll, I in fact normally have some very positive things to say about it, but really Religion or rather religions people just seam to piss me off more then normal on the holidays. Why? Because they are stupid about it.
They over look stuff. And then bitch about stuff not really knowing what the crap they are talking about. And they complain when people say stuff like. "Happy Holiday" Instead of "Merry Christmas" Which is stupid, It would be just as stupid as some one complaining if you told them. "Merry Christmas."

I mean if you celebrate Christmas then find feel free to say Merry Christmas. If some one get butt hurt over it, then follow it up with a "Well fuck you buddy!" and that's the end of that. Those are people who are not going to be happy with anything you say.

5:Eating to much.
Just simply put i almost feel like Thanksgiving is a holiday that celebrates being fat lazy slobs in America. There is really no reason to even have this holiday. It's back story is bogus, its not at the right time of year for its back story, and there is really not thanks giving taking place.

Really its just bunch of people getting together and eat made up Thanksgiving food.

4:Stupid ass made up holidays.
This goes back to the holiday thing. Why are no holidays at the right time of year anymore? (Except Halloween) And allot of the stuff to do on these holidays is made up or borrowed from older holidays. And I'm sure my next Blog Entry will be on what is wrong with Thanksgiving anyways.

3:people not knowing what they are doing.
Again back to the inconsistency of the holiday season.
And this is largely the fault of the education system and media. Almost no one knows anything any more about the holidays. We are at this point just on holiday autopilot.

2:Stupid people seam to thrive on holidays.
OK so this is kind of a combination of all the of the posts above.
For the longest time i thought that the holidays made people stupid. But no that's not it, its that stupid people are emboldened by the holidays and feel the need to be stupid in public on them.

Just like religions leaders decrying Halloween as a evil holiday.
Or conceded ass celebritays thinking that this is the perfect time of year to make us feel bad. Normally by saying stuff that is totally out of context of assanine. If you don't know what i am talking about... Click Hear.
Or stupid people just showing there ass.

1:FREKEN! CHRISTMAS MUSIC!
OK so.... Needless to say. I HATE 99.99 Repeating % of all Christmas music EVER MADE!
With the exception of allot of older music that HAS NO WORDS!
Stuff like Carol of the bells. Or We three kings if done well can be very nice. As well as the little drummer boy.
But almost all other songs annoy the crap out of me. BECAUSE they bludgeon you over the head with the idle of chrismas and TELL NO STORY!

And almost all new Christmas Music is complete garbage! Allot of it falling prey to blatant commercialism. [On that note Santa Baby by Ertha Kitt is HILARIOUS!]

And here is the think that REALLY makes me mad.

This year i herd Christmas Music THE DAY AFTER HALLOWEEN! Not the day after Thanksgiving mind you. The day after fucking HALLOWEEN! Two full months in advance.

And this point Thanksgiving is just a dress rehearsal for Christmas. The entire holiday might as well be called Walmart-day at this point. Sense Christians should be Livid that there holy day has been taken hostage by shopping outlets.

Not to mention the entire candy on Eastern thing.
But then again the Christian Community as a hole doesn't seam to pay much if any attention to there holidays in the sense they should be anyways.
_

So that's my bitch list about the holidays.
And... ...

I guess have a happy holiday season.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Back to EKU.'Why i love Kentucky'

For those who did not know.
I have been going to Eastern Kentucky University on and off for quite some time.
And i think i have finally gotten enough cash together to pay for the last 5 classes i will need to finish college. If you have never been to my fair state of Kentucky, Then let me tell you of all the places i have lived. (Which is most of the states on the east of the Mississippi) And of all the places i have visited. (Most of the states on the other side) I like Kentucky the most.

Why might you ask?
A few reasons.

#1. Its NOT Southern. I think i might have already covered this.
But Kentucky is not in the south. In any way shape or form. If you disagree. Get out of my state....
We are missing allot of the problems with southern states. (Mind you there are some cool things about southern states)

#2. Its NOT Northern. Again i think i covered this. Kentucky and West Virginia are kind of in there own little Appalachian Area of the County. Not really northern not really southern. We have the southern manners and hospitality but none of the down side to being southern.
Now it dose depend allot on what part of the state you are in.

#3. Culture. I know some people wont get this right away, but Kentucky has loads of the stuff. And why not. Think of the history of Kentucky, When the Nation was founded, Kentucky was the West. We were the first fronter. And we have all the history that goes with that.

Not only that once we were settled the rest of the nation largely passed over us, but we were close enough to the east to not be totally left alone.

So what you ended up with was a place that feels old but is not stuck in that time.

Some times is does feel like parts of the state. (South Eastern Kentucky) Are stuck in the 1940-50's. But some times it does not. And if you are in Central Kentucky. (Richmond-Lexington) Area. It feels very modern, and even multi-cultural to a large extent.

#4???
Now you will notice i have said nothing about Louisville Kentucky. There is a reason for that. To be honest it doesn't feel like the rest of the state. It feels like Ohio. And most people from KY don't really like Ohio.

The reason being that they are kind of jerks to us. NO REALLY. Appalachian is a official recognized minority in Ohio the state had to pass a law to keep the people there. (Mostly Cincinnati) From being prejudiced against us.

And Louisville really dose feel like a part of Ohio. It just dose not fit in with the rest of the state. It's a OK city. (I don't like large city's any way) And has allot of great things going on. Its just not very Kentuckyian.... If thats a word. Kentuckyish???

Monday, March 15, 2010

Monday, March 1, 2010

My recruiting experience.

So at the moment i am in the process of joining the Kentucky Army national guard.
Which is the second time i have gone throw the proses of joining the military.
And as i stated before i went throw the process of Joining the Army before.

And i have come to a conclusion.
The VAST majority of story's about Dishonest Recruiters.
ARE A DAMN LIE!

I have at this point talked to some were on the order of a dozen different recruiter's.
And so far NON of them have lied to me, and none have encouraged me to lie.

I have however seen many people accuse them of lieing.
and i noticed this.
Most people who say they were lied to, just have REALLY picky hearing.

Most of them fall into a few groups.
The.

A:BUT YOU SAID! Group.
People who ask stuff like. "If i get this MOS (Military Occupation Specialty) Will i be sent over sea's?" To which the recruiters answer. "Every one in the army has a change to be sent over sea's, but some jobs are less likely to be deployed then others." And then latter at MEPS. (Military Entry Processing Station) they here that they MIGHT be sent over seas. Then they start in with "BUT I WAS TOLD I WOULDN'T BE!"

I have seen this over Housing, MOS slots, Deployment, and allot of times its over stuff that the recruit didn't tell the recruiter.

B:BUT I WAS TOLD!
Allot of this happens when people talk to other people who have been in the military but have been out for a wile. They come into the recruiting station and think they already know what is going on, not understand that there friend has been out of the loop for 10+ years, and the allot has changed sense 9/11. Or even the Regan years of a 6 million man military.

C:BUT I DON'T WANT TO!
or
C:DO I HAVE TO?
or
C:CAN I GET OUT OF?

This happens when some one comes up and asks something to the effect of one of the following.
"Do i have to go to basic if i just want to be a cook?"
"Can i join the National Guard and get them to pay for my school and then leave as soon as I'm done with college?"
"Can i get a job that i know i wont be deployed wile I'm in?"

Look i can understand that some people don't want to do Basic. Or commit 6 to 8 years of there life to the Army, or even the national guard.
But the thing is, you ether get over it, or Don't joint.


The fact of the matter is that the first Recruiter i had, was so honest that he most likely effected his own job performance. He once told a guy who asked him what being Infantry was like.
"You kick in doors and shoot people for a liv'in. There bad people and you know it. You sleep in dirt, and in vehicles. You walk around knowing your a target and some one might shoot you, and every now and then some one dies, maybe some one you know, and there's not a damn thing you can do about it."

The guy he told that to became a cook by the way.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

"I have a gay friend"

OK so the title of this post is "I have a gay friend" Why Because i have heard that phrase to much.
99.99 repeating % of the time, when you hear this it is following a REALLY stupid comment like. "I don't dislike gay people, I just don't want them around me (And or my Child)"

Now first of all, if this is your case, YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH GAY PEOPLE. You ether think a gay person around your kids will A: make them gay, and you think this is bad. Or B: They will do Something to your child, so you basically think, gay men are all (Or More Likely to be) pedophiles.

_
Now most people who say. "I have a gay friend" Do know and interact with a Homosexual person.
But the VAST majority do not have gay friends, they work with a gay person, or have a friend who has a gay friend. But under most circumstances they would not spend time with the person outside of these environments.
_
Here is my General Rule of Friend.
A: A person you work with is a Colleague.
B: A person you might spend time with at a social event is a Acquaintance.
C: A person you would let sleep on your couch, and you would sleep on there couch is a friend.
_
Why the couch rule?
Simple, if you don't trust them enough to sleep on there couch, they are not your friends.

Now that's not to say that people should be this trusting, i know Allot of girls who have "Male friends" Whose couch they would not sleep on. Nor should they.

_
Now the next reason i bring this up is to rant about a pet peeve of mine.
And that's Flaming men.

Now before you call me a homophobe i would like to point out i did not say Flamingly Gay men.
I dislike Flamingly gay and strait men about as much as one another, maybe flamingly strait men a little more.

Now before you ask "What is a flamingly strait man?" I will tell you.
You see a Flamingly Gay man is a man who acts in a way that Forces you to know that he in attracted to men. NO ONE TALKS LIKE THAT! And theirs is no reasonable way for a man to act like that, Why? Because I DON'T CARE IF YOU LIKE MAN, WOMEN or CARROTS.

Flamingly Strait men are men who act in a way that lets you know that not only do they like Women, but that they are TOUGH MOTHER FUCKERS!
Again i don't care if you like women, and no matter how tough you are a lead pipe to the head will still shut you up.
_

Now that I'm done with that, i would like to insert what i consider the true test of a persons homophobe level. And i would like to point out that even if your not totally OK with gay people, its Natural to be a little apprehensive if that's the way you feel.

So here is the test. Put yourself in this train of thought.
(Using my own experience as a set up here)
Your sitting at a club in Orlando FL, the club is by all means not a gay and or a strait bar, its just a club.
A guy comes up to you and asks. [In a nice respectful tone] "May i buy you a drink?"

OK so you do one of the following.

A: Say "I'm flattered but no thanks, I'm afraid I'm not really into guys" This is the one i took. Now some people have asked me. "Why would you apologize and explain yourself?" The simple answer is, to be nice, if a woman had asked me the same thing, and i had said no, i would have apologized, told her i was flattered and explained why as well.
And on top of that, its just nice, The guy was very polite and didn't make a big deal out of it, by explaining why i let him know that it wasn't anything wrong with him, just a difference of interests.

B: Say. "No Thanks" Again nothing wrong with this, its polite and end the encounter quickly, most guys who are a little uncomfortable around gay guys pick this one.

C: Make a big deal about it. Most guys who take this direction are in fact trying to embarrassed the guy who just asked them. Ether to deflect there own embarrassment, or just to be a ass hole.
But the thing is, if the guy feels comfortable enough to ask you, then you are most likely in a place were no one is going to care, and you are the one who is going to look like a ass.

D: Act like a Total Ass, making a big deal out of it and acting in a socially unexceptable manner.
This is what happens when a flamingly strait man is asked the question, he can not except that this gay guy can't tell me is strait by looking at him.
This is a good way to get throw out of a club, or into jail.


If you answered A or B, your cool. C your a dick, D... Stay in side for the rest of your life. I don't want to have to use a lead pipe on you.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Geography. America, Greatest Country on Earth!

OK so as i stated before.
Every nation to some extent has a little bit of the "Best Nation" Sentiment. But the U.S. China, Japan and Germany are really the kings of this.

Now that being said, if you ask the people in the nations you get different answers.
From my past experience you get this.

China. "China was the most advanced civilization in the world for century's and is still a strong nation" Now to be fair, that's a pretty fair take on history, MOST of the great inventions in history happened in china two to three hundred years before they happened in Europe. Some Happened over a thousand.

Japan. Now before i even start i need to point this out, as nice as the Japanese are, and as much as i like part of there culture, They are as a collective one of the most Xenophobic people out there, and are convinced of there Ethnic Superiority, they even treat other Asian's badly.

Germany. Been over this, if they had anything to be proud about it would be that they are one of the three power houses in the EU. (Screw you Russia) But to be fare, you screw with anyone that long and they get a aptitude.

United States. Now we have the longest list of reasons both stupid and other wise to make this clam. But the thing that gets me is the VAST majority of people who say this have NO CLUE, what the hell there on about.

Point.

#1. "The freest nation on the planet" - Well no not really, freedom would imply less interference from the law, or the most personal freedoms. But think about it, The Dutch have us beat there, and on top of that, nations with no government would be higher then us there, in Somalia you can do what ever the hell you want, even kill a man, just make sure you can back it up.

#2. "Most powerful nation on the planet" - Well yes, Military there is basically no = to the U.S. at the moment, unless you put nuke's into the picture, then really its just a draw. People who say "The Chinese are the new super power" are full of it, china has 1.3 billion people that's 4.something time as many as us. You think the U.S Military can take the Chinese Military 4 to 1? Of coarse they can. Russia? I think not. The Russians lost stuff to the Georgian Nation Guard. So not impressed there.

But really is that the source of greatness? No if that were true then The Huns would be up there in history, but really they just broke a bunch of stuff, no lasting influence.

#3. "Richest nation?" - Well only by total doller, many nations have wealthy people, and soon China will make more money over all then the U.S.

#4. "Health care? Schools?" I think not also, over all we are just run of the mill for a wealthy nation. 17th on the world health organizations list of best health care. (Before you look France is #1)

#5. And we really don't take very good care of out people.

Don't get me wrong, I like America it's one of only two or three nations i would even think of living in. But really if your going to clam you are the best, have a good answer to the question "Why?"

_
My reason, the U.S. is a sensible mix.
I like personal freedom, but it can infact to to far.
I like laws and security but again it can over step it's self.

In short, every nation like every person, has good and bad things about it.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

People Are Stupid. (Am i a racist)

OK so before i start i would just like to say that, I think the word Racist is thrown around ALLOT!
Every time a [Insert race here] insults or criticizes a [Insert other race here] person, some one cry's Racism.

And regardless of how true or observant a comment might be, some times it just always seams racist.

Harry Reid, made the comment that Obama was Electable because he didn't seam to have a air of "Angry black man" About him. (he used the word Negro) in the comment. Really this just showed people that he had very little contact with African American's. (Because he used Negro, a out of date, but not out and out racist term)

And people called Racism. But the thing is, most every one agrees he is most likely right, white people would have not voted for a Malcolm X type black man. [I don't vote for people that are angry at other race's regardless of there race]

And to another point, are you racist when you have a opinion of a race, or when you act on it?
And are you racist when you have a opinion based on experiences [regardless of the amount] or when you automatically assume that every one of a race will be like this.


ON my opinion and or experiences.
My first example is Men from Porta Rico.
Now i need to point this out. I mean the MEN, why? Because all my bad experiences with people from Porta Rico, were with the men. The Women seamed pretty normal, And it's important to note that all the Porta Rican Guys i have had bad experiences with were people i worked with or was room mates with wile working at Disney.

Here is the problem i had with them.
I would say hello, or try and help them out. [Just like any other employee] and they would give me addition, and on top of that, i noticed it was just with white guys, they wouldn't give African American guys trouble, and they wouldn't give girls tude.
So i mean maybe they just had bad experiences with white American guys?
That being said, after a wile i almost expected them to be dicks to me.
But that being said, i never treated them badly because of it, or gave them guff about it.

So is it Racist for me to asume that they are going to be dicks? [Most likely yes, yes it is, but just a little] But i feel proud of myself because i never just said, screw it this guy i don't know, and assume is a ass hole isn't worth me showing manners and common cutesy to.


My next group. And the one that i wonder about more often then not are Germans... Now before any one jumps my case a yells something like "HAY MY ANCESTOR ARE GERMANS!" I DON'T CARE! My ancestors on one side are as well.

Here is my point.
The German people as a whole are convinced [much like most Americans] that Germany is the greatest place on earth, and on top of that, they are convinced [Like most retard white supremacists] That The German race is superior to others.

Now i would like to point out that, that's not just me, Academics have studied why this is, even the German government has looked into the idle, and why people believe it.

But the thing is. Just like with white supremacists, there is NO GERMAN RACE!
Germany was inhabited by Gauls, then by a NUMBER of tribes that moved in from outside, then conquered by the French of a couple of hundred years, then in the late 1800's because a nation.

There is no more a German Race then there is a American Race, Both are collections of other races. Which i think there is allot of be proud of, but the German's are just badly behaved about it.

Even FIFA has noted this.
In the last 1990's they put in place the "Geman Rule" This rule states that if your fans are badly behaved at a FIFA [That's Football, the Soccer kind of the US kind] That you can loss a point.
And in Soccer a point is BIG!
They put this rule into place because German Crowds were giving Nazi Salutes at games to intimidate the other team and just to be ass holes.
That and i don't like German food.
And with some exceptions i can't find a whole lot that the Germans should be that proud of, some stuff of coarse, but nothing that impressive.


But to there credit.
I have had some very nice experiences with German people, and some bad one's.
So it's on a much less personal level then my problem with Guys from Porta Rico.


So like i said my opinion is that most people shout racist way to quick.
And it's more important to treat every one with Respect until they proved them self's assholes, then to act on your past experiences.



And in truth nearly all nations have a good amount of "Best nation on earth" but in my experiences, The USA, Germany, Japan and China have REALLY got it going on. Even France can't compete with them/us.

Friday, January 8, 2010

Anime Nostalgia (Sailor Moon)

OK so i have TOTALLY run out of New Anime to watch.
So i have decided to go about re-watching from "The Day" So i started by watching the first anime that i watched that i knew was anime.

Sailor Moon.
OK so any one who has seen this show. (In ether English or Japanese)
Would relies that this is like a girlie anime power ranger show.
Most people would call the show a Magical Girl genera. And ya it does draw from it very heavily but at its core it's a Sentai Anime.

So it has the same Monster of the day set up, and episode to episode idle.
So each Episode goes like this.

Part 1. Evil Villein decides to do a bad thing.
Part 2. They make a monster out of ~Pick Random Item Here~
Part 3. The Hero shows up and destroys it with ~Insert Stock Footage here~

But that being said, its a fun show as a kid because you don't pick up on as many of the plot hole's and glaring problems with the idle of the show.
And as a Grown up its almost like watching a episode of MST3K. It so bad its good.

And to it's credit it does have more going for it then other Sentai shows like Power Rangers or Gatchaman (G-Force / Battle of the Planets) for the U.S. Watcher.

The show is actually maid up of 5 "Meta Series"
It's a common practice in Japan to stop making a show for a short time, and or at pivotal points in a short start a "new" show.
You see this in many animes. Dragonball lead into DragonBallZ then DrabonBallGT.
Naruto then lead into Naruto Shippoden.

Sailor Moon is in fact 5 series.
And when you watch it, keep this in mind.
Each Series is made as a complete and separate show.
The Villeins are completely different and only the basic ellements of the story are needed to understand the new Series or "Season"

It does seam to have more story line to it then most other Sentai, that's most likely because it was targeted at girls rather then young boys.

Japanese VS English.

Right so the first season was published in the Canada then the U.S. By DiC
a company that was, at the time owned by Disney. (My Former Employers) So needless to say some stuff needed to be changed to get it to pass standards and practices in the U.S. (At least for the Age Group they were shooting for)

But something went wrong.... horrible wrong. in the first season.
Basically the production team was changed for about every episode wile the English Dubbing was being done.
So none of the writers had the slightest idle what the hell was going on in the show.
As a result the show was inconsistent and some times just didn't make any sense, even in the eyes of a child for me.

But o well it was still popular. (Still one of the most popular in Japan) And holds a soft spot for many.

Over the next couple of Posts ill be covering each Mini-Series / Season, and giving you any nice little information i have.



P.S. on a side note its VERY hard to find Sailor Moon any more.
No one has the U.S. Distribution rights any more, So there are no new DVD or VHS collections for sale in the U.S. Some come over from Canada. But for the most part its impossible to find them on the market and or to find on the Intertubes.

BUT i have done so!

here.
http://www.watchsailormoon.com/
It's a little hard to navigate but its very helpful.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

What i want to do when i grow up. Part:3. (A.K.A. Your Zombie Plan!)

SO what is your zombie plan!?!?!?
What you don't have one! It's almost 2012! And unless you by that crapshoot movie then i bet on the end coming at the hands (And jaws) of the walking undead or infected, depending on who is Directing this universe.

Why? Well think about it, its a better explanation then MOST end of the world movies!

2012: (Will most likely not cover the 200 Million Dollar's is cost to make)
Soler flares heat the earth's core and cause.... wait what? Wouldn't solar flares that strong hitting earth kill everything on the planet before heating the core? And who builds Survival Ships in the Himalaya's?

The Core: (Cost 60 Million, Made 73 Million World Wide)
Earth core spots spinning and sets in motion..... Wait. Again? Really? Unless Gravity STOPS in the universe, the earth's core will keep spinning, just like the rest of the planet.

Volcano: (Cost 90 Million, Made 112 Million World Wide)
A Volcano pop's up in L.A. OK not AS dumb. Until you notice that the San Andreas Fault is not the right kind of fault to make Volcano's just earth quakes That's why California has only the Long Valley Caldera.



So any ways, Zombies are Just as likely as most disaster movies. and MUCH funner!

So most people that have zombie plans. Have bad zombie plans.
Bad idle #1. Corps Icicles.
The idle that zombies will freeze solid in cold weather is a sound one. But try driving there wile the zombies are lose. And even in most parts of Alaska, its not freezing YEAR ROUND! So unless you live there already this is a bad plan.

Bad idle #2. The Fortress.
Build a Fortress and wait of help. Not a totally bad idle, but if you don't build it ahead of time it's going to be lack luster and iffy, and even if you do, who is to say help will come? Or that the military wont start level bombing the zombies around you. And your going to run out of food and ammunition sooner or later.

Bad idle #3. Feeding the Animals.
Many people run off the idle that "I don't need to be faster then the zombies, just faster then my grandmother" Well ya, so you live near a old folks home, but your going to run out of decoys soon. And now the old people are zombies! And you have a collection of zombies near you that know there is food near you!

Bad idle #4. Food / Gun stores.
EVEY one is going to go there, now you have zombies and armed humans to fight!
And most food stores have big open windows! perfect Zombie Doors.

Good idle #1. No man is a zombie Island!
Have a list (Mental or otherwise) of people you would trust in a zombie apocalypse. Go find them as soon as you know what's going on, hopefully wile cellphones still work. No man survives the Zombie attack alone for long.

Good idle #2.
The Short game. Have some kind of weapon and food on hand.
Have a safe place to stay until you team can get to you.

Good idle #3.
A long game. Have a idle of what your going to be doing.
Going to a army base? A island? A Government Facility?
Pick something and stick to it, if it doesn't work pick something else.

Good idle #4.
The end game. Are you going to help? Going for a long team fortress? Counting on help?

What you need to know.
#1 Were do you live?.
Do you live in a major city? or the sticks? One plan can work in one place and not the other.

#2 What is near you?.
Is there a military base near you? A Government Building? Use what you have.




MY ZOMBIE PLAN!

OK so this plan works in ether A:Manchester Ky. Or B:Richmond Ky.
My go to list. (A.K.A.) "The Team"
My Best Friend Chris.
My Hetero Life Mate "Monkey"
Friend: "P.F." aka David.
Adopted Brother: "Jabes"
My sister / brother in law.
My Mother / Father.
My sisters-friend and her husband.
And all connecting personnel.

That is (If all live throw the first wave of attacks) 20ish people.
I'm betting on maybe 1/2 to 1/4th of that. Because both places are lightly populated.

The goods! aka: Short game.
OK so all of the people above being included, we would have.
2 Handguns.
1 Rifle.
1 Hunting Rifle.
1 Shotgun.
And a Truckload of Melee Weapons. (Thanks monkey)
As well as a man who might be able to decapitate a zombie with his bare hands.
As well as vehicles and food.

The Plan. aka: Long game.
OK so i get my people and my goods. I get into a Vehicular object and i head to Monkey's house.
From there i get his boat and head to the Clay's Ferry area of the Kentucky River.
We Put the boat in and head down stream. This does.
#1. The water is your friend, zombies can't swim and its hard to climb into a boat.
#2. We are no heading along a area were we can take other boat's and supply's.
#3. We are not staying still.
#4. The River might have a better controlled area in it. (Aka the coast guard / military)

The end game. aka: The Republic of Willmoria!
OK so we now head down river, to the Mighty Mississippi River! Then South to the gulf of Mexico! Before we hit the coast we take a fishing boat.

After that we head to the Gulf Coast and find a Offshore Oil Rig.
Once there we set up shop.
The rig will give up, power, heat, power, communications and a safe place to raise food and fish from. (using the nets from the boat)

This is a long term plan. We wait until some one sets up a safe area to move back to.
Maybe communicating with other like minded oil rig dwellers.

What i want to do when i grow up. Part:2. (Zombie Hunter)

OK so i went over Hunting Vampires.
Now we are going to go over hunting Zombies. WHY? I mean there are no people that clam to be Zombies. But that being said Zombies SCARE THE CRAP OUT OF ME! On a scale from 1 to 10, One being the least threatening / frightening, 10 being the most.

(Mind you that we are using "Zombie's" For the Walking undead, I will use the term "The Infected" For 28 day latter zombies)

1 Pizza. (Who doesn't like Pizza?)
2 A Fluffy Kitty.
3 A Sweet little old lady. (She would be lower, but she could have a gun)
4 A Sugar crazed five year old.
5 A Sugar crazed ten year old. (If they were normally sized for there age)
6 A Angry Fat Chick. (We are talking Jabba-da-hut, not just chunky)
7 A mugger.
8 A Republican. (Rightard) and or a Infected Zombie.
9 A Vampire.
10 A Bear!
11 A.K.A. "O MY GOD ITS EATING MY LEGS!" = Zombie!



So.
First off i would like to say this.
The "Infected" Are much less impressive to me then Zombies.
Infected are just diseased angry humans, that can infect others. So basiclly contagious methheads. (A.K.A. New Yorkers)

Zombies are the walking undead! They don't need sleep, food, entertainment, shooting them can be largely fruitless, and there will be ALLOT of them.

So.

#1. how to tell if some one is a zombie.
Part 1; The Infected.
If a person comes running at you screaming... Take them down. Regardless if they are a zombie or not, if you see some one eating another person or beating another person to.... you know what I'm skipping this Infected part. If you see some one being a general monster. TAKE THEM OUT!
Part 2; The Walking Undead.
If you see some one walking forward saying... BRAINS!
If you see some one eating some one else.
If you see a huge crowd of shuffling, groaning violent people take them down! (They might be emo, but no harm to fowl!)


#2. You can't be a zombie hunter if!
You can't walk faster then a shuffle.
Your a slut. (Rule from Vampire Hunting still stands)
You have a weak Stomach.
You can't be a zombie. Even more so then with the vampire.

#3. How to do it. (The Infected)
See the reason i have little respect for "The Infected" is because there just contagious humans.
So basically just shoot them, call the cops, the military, just were a face mask.

#3. How to do it. (The Walking Undead)
Well first off, you don't half to "Kill them" just get away.
A: Take them down: Just shoot for the legs and or upper chest.
B: Take them out: Aim for the head, or neck a decapitated zombie is not much of a threat.

The tools.
Long Range:
Hunting Rifles. (Great if your a OK shot, and really not hard targets.
Machine Guns. (Great for crowd control)
Mines. (Don't even half to be there for them to work, but there a little indiscriminate)
Explosive Traps. (Same as above, but easier to make!)

Medium Range.
Any Rifle. (I suggest leaver action for better reliability, and for the fun noise they make!)
Assault Rifle. (Kind of Ammunition ineffective)
Shot guns! (Loaded with Slugs, and a scope)
Bow/Crossbows. (Always fun, and much quieter)

Short Range.
Assault Rifle. (Much better at this range)
SMG. (One of the best in close weapons)
Pistol. (Just like SMG just a little smaller and less fire power)
Shotgun. (The best enclose weapon ever!)

To Close!
Pistol. (See Above)
Shotgun. (See Above)
Blunt weapons. (Something big enough to crush a skull)
Cutting Weapons. (Something big enough to take off a head or arm, i vote for Machete!)
Hacking/Puncturing Weapons. (A pick axe or axe is a bad chose to much recoil and they might get stuck)

Just for fun!
A CAR! I mean why the hell not! Or if you can get some, heavy construction equipment! Steamroller + Zombies = PARTY!

Friday, January 1, 2010

What i want to do when i grow up. Part:1. (Vampire hunter)

OK so this is about one of the jobs i would love to have when i grow up. (I'm 26 so i don't really know when that will be)

So what do i want to be when i grow up?
A Vampire Hunter.... No really.

Think I'm crazy?
Well think about this. There are people in the world who contest. (Ether because there crazy or pretentious Emo Assholes) That they are in fact. Real Vampires. Don't believe me? Look it up on the internet. There are Vampire Support Groups.

So this is my stance.
They contest that they are Creatures that live off of Human blood.
I think that warrants some kind of Criminal Act.
So why shouldn't i get payed to hunt them?
And i think i should get Government Money to do so.
Because There are government Support groups for Vampires. (That is support groups trying to convince stupid/crazy 16 year old's that they are not, in fact the walking undead)

So from looking on the internet / "other" Places. This is a quick guide to Hunting Vampires.

#1. How to tell if some one is a vampire.
A: OK so if some one tells you "I'm a vampire" BAM! That's it, take them down. Right there, Self Defense, I mean after all if some one said, Ya i am going to stab you in the neck. Then your totally defending yourself.
B: A Mirror. OK so in old times, they thought that Mirrors Reflected your soul, So Vampires not having souls, didn't have reflection, but Ann Colter Has a reflection, so i don't buy this.
C: Animals don't like Vampires / Vampires Stink. OK so Animals can sense evil? I think not. But it is true that most Emo's / Goth's / Basement Dwelers have bad Hygiene.

#2. You can't be a vampire hunter if you are ANY of the following.
A: A Hemophiliac/Hemophobic. You can be bleeding and or Fainting when ever you see blood.

B: A Slut... Leftard. No really. First off Vampires seam to seduce people allot. And have you every watched a Horror Film? The Slut always dies, and the pristine pure chick lives.

C: Weak Willed; Rightard. OK So a little explanation here. You would think that people who were afraid of anything different would be GREAT vampire hunters. But you see vampire's can Hypnotize you. And week willed people are easy to control, So no Rightards.

D: A Vampire. OK So just putting this out there. Unless your Wesley Snipes, You can't be a self hating Vampire.


#3. How to kill a vampire. (Tools of the job)
A: A stake. Most people say a oak stake. But in old times Rosewood and Hawthorn were what you used. (Don't know why) I contest ANY Sharp stabbing tool should do the trick. But sense getting stabbed in the heart will kill any one this is a little divisive.

B: Crucifix. OK so this is iffy, you see the idle here is that a vampire, being wicked in the eye's of god can not stand the sight of our lord and savior Jesus Christ. The problem here is. (1;What if they are Protestant? They don't put Jesus on the cross?, 2;What if they are not of a Judao-Christian faith?) I think it's safer to bring things you KNOW that the people claiming to be Vampires can't stand to look at. I would suggest a job application.

C: Holy Water. OK again we run into the trouble of "What if there not Christian?" I suggest just throwing bleach into there face.

D: Garlic. OK so this is suppose to overpower the smell of death. I think its a good idle just to overpower the smell of pore hygiene.

E: Mustard Seeds / Marbles. Throw them on the ground, the vampire will stop and count them. If Sesame Street Taught me anything its that All Vampires are O.C.D.

F: Weapons that can kill anyone, but people seam to like to use on Vampires.
An Axe or Sword. (To cut there heads off)
Fire. (Keep it in your pocket, the wont see that Coming)
A Gun. (Let's face it there are very few problems in life that a shotgun can not fix)

G: Backup. Some one to help you out. I would suggest Wesley Snipes or Buffy. But that dose break the No Vampires and No Slut's rule.


Also make a not to always hunt the opposite sex from your interest.
That is. If your a strait male. Hunt Male Vampires.
If your a Homosexual Male. Hunt Female Vampires.
If your a Strait Female. Hunt Female Vampires.
If your a Homosexual Female. Hunt Male Vampires.
If your a strait female feminazi. Hunt Male Vampires.

Well that's it with my guide you will be hunting vampires / In jail for mass murder in no time.


[Do not try this: Every, in fact to do anything i tell you; I'm bad for you.]